Sabi nila, pag mahal mo ang isang tao take the risks. Kahit alam kong may masasaktan ako, I took the risk. I didn't force him to choose me but I'm the one he chose...
"Get up! Tama na tong kalokohan na to", that's Missy, my bestfriend. I tried to cover my face with a blanket but she held my hand and pulled me out of my bed.
"Ayokong pumasok masama pakiramdam ko", I stuttered as I fell on the floor dahil sa lakas ng paghila ni Missy sa akin.
"It's the first day of the second semester! Tama na yang arte at papasok tayo. You only have fifteen minutes to get ready at after that kapag hindi ka pa bumaba hihilain kita papunta sa klase natin ng ganyan ang suot", she went to door and glanced back "Verina Montemayor, I mean it!", and that's it she slammed the door and went straight downstairs.
I find my way to stand up from the floor and went to the bathroom. I stared at myself and saw a shoulder length light brown hair that matches my hazel brown eyes. From what I see, I lost fifteen pounds, I assumed. I'm still wearing my white top and red skinny pants from the last time I saw him. Him. I washed away the tears flowing through my cheeks as I think of him. It's been three weeks since the day he left me.
I pulled out my clothes and opened the shower. I feel so good as the water splashed through my face down to my whole body. After five minutes of washing away all the dirt and pains and hatred and anger and sorrows, I feel alive-again. Although I know in my heart, hindi pa rin ako nakaka move on.
I found Missy in the kitchen eating cereals without milk. I find it funny na kakaiba ang pagkain ni Missy sa cereal. Sa halip na ihalo, she seaprates it. She will eats first the cereal then drinks her milk. She saw me e looking at her and she grinned.
"Akala ko hindi kita mapapasok. Thank God, at bumalik ka na din sa iyong katinuan", she said.
I get my bowl and poured the milk and cereal, sit beside her before I can respond, "I don't want to look like a loser. Ayokong sabihin niya na hindi ko siya kayang mawala. Gusto kong ipakita sa kaniya na I don't need him. And I'm still likeable even though he left me", I sighed. I don't know where that strange courage came from pero I said it with so much confidence. Akala ko magiging proud sa akin si Missy dahil sa mga sinabi ko but she looked at me weirdly-from head to toe. "What?", the only word I can manage to say because of how she looks at me.
"I don't think mapapaniwala mo si Dave na your not a loser after what happened. Don't get me wrong Erin, pero you obviously looked devastated", she worried.
"Huh?"
"Look at yourself my dear sister. Suot mo nanaman yang T-shirt ng lolo ng lolo ng lolo ko. The pants? Well, it's loose. Paano makikita yang shape ng butt mo. And Erin, hindi ka magjajogging! Bakit ka naka running shoes?"
"Sorry ha, wala lang sa mood ang dearest friend mo na magpaganda ngayon. I don't think it's appropriate after what happened", I replied.
"Akala ko ba you don't want to look like a loser? If hahayaan kitang lumabas sa pintong ito na ganyan ang suot sinasabi ko na sayo ngayon pa lang, YOU ARE A LOSER!"
"Ouch", before I can add the words I still want to say hinila niya ako pabalik ng kuwarto. Went inside my room and opened my cabinet.
"What are you doing?", I asked worriedly.
"Dahil bestfriend kita ayokong magmukha kang loser sa harap ng lalaking yun dahil sa totoo lang he should be the loser one because of leaving you".
Before I can respond I fell on my knees, "Ako naman talaga may kasalanan nito, di ba? Ako ang unang nang-agaw", I cried. Lumapit sa akin si Missy and tried to calm me down. She wiped my tears and I let her change me clothes.
"There", she says as she comb my hair for the final touch. I saw my reflection in the mirror and I don't look like a girl who is so broken three weeks ago. When she glances at my reflection, I smiled, and in that moment she knows. She already know that I love her and I appreciate her more than anything in the world.
Missy is my best friend for thirteen years since our primary years. Our mothers became the best of friends as we also became close and since then, after my father died and my mom went to other country to work, her parents treated me as their own child and let me stay in there house here in Manila while Missy and I are both studying.
